When I look at the successful business women in my life and the role models I look up to, what I see are women who have what seems to be, rock solid confidence. Rock solid confidence to go after their dreams without a glimmer of doubt, and I thought if I could just have that unshakeable confidence… THEN I will be successful.
I have spent years ‘trying’ to be confident. Looking for numerous quick fix strategies that will boost my confidence and make me feel as though I could conquer the world. However, these quick fix strategies were unsustainable, unachievable and a waste of money.
Little did I know; I was missing an important vital step.
Self-confidence comes from having the belief in yourself, your abilities, power and judgement.
When you have no self-belief, you will consistently sabotage your goals, avoid taking action, resist what calls you, give up or give in and eventually live a life that is not congruent with your deepest values and highest potential.
Believing in yourself is about knowing and aligning with the highest idea of who you are and why you are here, NOT the limiting ideas and thoughts you have of yourself.
Unfortunately, so many women fail to believe in themselves, because growing up, others didn’t believe in them.
Self-belief can become eroded by the opinions, thoughts and judgements of others around you. The more you believe others’ opinions over yourself, the less likely you will have that unshakeable self-belief that fuels self-confidence and supports you to thrive in life.
It’’s not important what other people believe about you. It’s only important what you believe about yourself.
When you have belief in yourself, you make a stand for who you are independent of your ‘stories’. You don’t make excuses, or blame your parents or your childhood, or the economy, your job or your friends, you just do what is needed. You get on with your own life making the unique contribution you want to make, by being true to who you really are.
You get on and do what is required, regardless of how you feel about it. You let go of needing other people’s approval on whether you are doing the right thing, or on the right path. You know who you are, your values and what matters most to you. Despite setbacks, you know you can count on yourself to keep showing up regardless of your flaws, mistakes and road blocks.
As a solopreneur, having unshakeable self-belief is fundamental in continuing along this path, we both know business isn’t easy! You will be challenged in every way possible, and if you allow these challenges to defeat you, you will crumble and possibly give up like the most that do.
Being on my own business journey with self-doubt constantly in my ear saying “What the heck are you doing woman, can you really create a sustainable business that gives you a stable income?” “Do you have any idea how to create a successful business?” Well the less I listened to self doubt, and the more I listened to my heart, and believed in myself and my ability to learn and grow, my dreams and my capabilities – well the rest is history.
If you struggling with low self-belief, try these 4 tips –
Call out your false beliefs!
False beliefs can be super sneaky. They like to band together and undermine the belief you have in yourself by making you believe you’re a failure, that this path isn’t for you, or you aren’t good enough to be successful.
These beliefs are tied to your story, what you have been through in your life, your heartbreaks, what you were told, and what you tell yourself everyday (conscious or not). When you dissolve faulty beliefs, and adopt new ones, you will believe more and more in yourself, your worth and what is REALLY possible!
Calling out the false-beliefs sabotaging your success is going to first take awareness. So, start to become curious, like a detective of your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours.
These three threads will lead you back to a belief that is either limiting you, or serving you. For example, if you believe you are a failure, how will this belief show up for you in your life? What thoughts will you have about yourself when you make a mistake? Will you criticise and berate yourself? How will this make you feel? Will you feel down, depressed, and sad? How will you behave? Will you procrastinate, withdraw or give up?
Becoming acutely aware of how you react, respond, and feel from day to day. These clues will help you to learn more about yourself and what is sabotaging your self-belief. Then start to take steps towards changing these, and adopt a more empowering belief such as ‘my mistakes are stepping stones to my success.’
Become your own cheerleader and coach
When you have false beliefs undermining your self-belief, it’s going to take some effort to become your own inner cheerleader and coach. Start to recognise your accomplishments no matter how small they are, and give yourself some encouraging words DAILY just like you would to a friend so you can keep forging that path. Here are some examples:
Be your own cheerleader:
You can do this!
Your efforts and hard work will eventually pay off, keep going.
You are okay, pick yourself up and try again. You will get better with practice.
What you have to say and contribute is important.
You’ve totally got this, and if it doesn’t work out you will survive.
Repeat these encouraging words repeatedly until you drown out the negativity, and self-doubt in your mind. This takes practice and persistence, but you can do it!
Be your own coach:
When your mind starts to express doubts, go somewhere quiet, close your eyes and coach yourself:
“Look it’s normal to feel a little nervous and anxious, this just means you actually care! You have all the experience, skills and knowledge, and if for whatever reason this doesn’t work out, then I will be proud of you for acting on your dreams and giving this a go. You can do this!
Be open to positive feedback
It can often be challenging to receive positive feedback from others when you lack self-belief making it easier to deny or dismiss positive comments. So start getting good at receiving positive feedback from others, by saying thank you and allowing these positive words to sink in, allll the way in! Positive feedback is like vitamins for self-belief, it helps to nourish you and believe in who you are, and what you’re capable of.
Identify what you can do and take action!
Self-doubt and zero self-belief will drive your mind to focus on what you AREN’T capable of, what you don’t have and what you haven’t achieved. This will only compound those crappy false beliefs and well we don’t want that!
Start becoming curious of what you can do by taking action and putting yourself out there. When you take action, you prove to yourself you are capable, and that you can trust in yourself, your own judgements, and power. Life is way too short, I mean tomorrow you could be out of here and next life you might come back as a tree. So, start acting on your dreams, and your self-belief will flourish.